Grilling Confessions

Your imaginations have gone wild with images of my hulking frame wedged between the shower and the toilet as I whipped up gourmet meals, my right hand stirring a sauce on the hot plate, my left hand reaching into the toaster oven to flip a pork chop, my right foot washing vegetables in the shower, my left foot balancing precariously on a bathmat, the two ridgebacks perching themselves outside the bathroom door waiting for falling food scraps, and Peter cheering me on, eagerly awaiting his dinner while sipping a glass of wine.

I have a confession. It's only like that on Wednesday nights.

On other nights, I often step out of the bathroom and into the backyard. The set up is rustic, it's hardly a designer kitchen, but I am technically not cooking in the bathroom. I'm cooking dinner on a gas grill that sits under the upstairs deck in a dark corner of the pine-needle covered patch of concrete and dirt that serves as our backyard.

The principles of cooking in the bathroom remain intact. Simple ingredients. Minimal prep time. A spirit of creative experimentation. Tasty food. The grill, I have found, can do much more than rib eyes and burgers. Here are some of my recent favorites:

Grilled Romaine
Two (or more) heads of romaine lettuce
Olive oil
Salt
Parmesan or other cheese

Brush the Romaine with the olive oil and sprinkle with salt
Place on a grill that is at medium-low heat (around 400-450)
Cook for about 3-4 minutes then flip until the romaine has grill marks but don't allow it to wilt or burn
Remove from the grill, cut off the ends, and chop in 3-4 pieces, depending on the size of the heads
Toss each head in its own bowl with your preferred cheese (you can also use some balsamic vinegar)

Grilled Figs
Slice some figs in half
Stick some roquefort or goat cheese on the figs
Place on a cookie sheet or directly on the grill for 4-5 minutes until the cheese is bubbly
Serve as appetizers

Hot Pockets!
Ratatouille
One eggplant, peeled and chopped into large cubes
One zucchini, chopped in large chunks
Two tomatoes, chopped in large chunks
One medium onion, chopped in large chunks
One clove garlic, chopped
Some fresh basil leaves
Salt & pepper
Olive oil

Toss the ingredients in a bowl
Place in a large piece of aluminum foil
Wrap up tightly, sealing all sides
Cook on a medium grill for 15-20 minutes
Open the pocket into the bowl you used to mix the vegetables and serve

You can adapt the hot pockets for potatoes (use rosemary); vegetable curry (add some tofu and some red peppers and toss in some curry powder); or asparagus (place some sliced meyer lemons in the pocket).

Lamb Meatballs
1 1/2 lb ground lamb
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/4 cup chopped mint leaves
Chili pepper
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 egg

Mix all ingredients together with your hands and form into balls
Place on the grill and cook, turning frequently until well done, about 12 minutes in total


Grilled Chicken Stew
One chicken, cut into pieces (I like to split the breasts in two)
Two onions, cut in half
Six figs (or pitless dates)
Red wine
Salt and pepper

Grill the chicken until almost done, about 8-10 minutes per side
Grill the onions until browned, about 5-6 minutes per side
Throw the chicken into an oven proof dish, along with the fruit and the onions
Add salt and pepper
Cover in red wine
Cover the pot and let cook on the grill for another 30-40 minutes